“Yeah we’re doing great I’m just tired.” “It’s fine the wee ones are just a bit of a handful – but that’s what we sign up for right?!” “I’m just having a moan, lots of people have it worse than me.”

We hear and say these types of sentences frequently as parents. Society tells us that if we choose to have a child then we must accept the challenges of parenthood without complaint. “Should have kept your legs closed” is a common reply online to those of us who dare to say that parenthood is hard.

But it is. It’s really, really hard work. And with any type of hard work, it involves no small amount of commitment and presence from the parent, which can really affect their mental health. It is exhausting giving constantly, and as a result we see mums burning the candle at both ends. Trying to fulfil their vision of what their life would be, while also trying to keep up with what people expect of them, all the while their bodies betray them by exploding with hormones which (although we’re told about it before the birth) mean we can go from loving and doting on our new bundle of joy, to wishing we could just give the demon baby back and go back to our “normal” life within minutes.

Often mums feel like they can’t talk about what’s bothering them for fear of being seen as a “bad” mum. You don’t want to be the shouty mum, or the mum whose kid is in the pyjamas for 3 days in a row, so we twist ourselves into knots to show everyone that we’re really good mums. And this can be at the expense of our mental health.

So for Maternal Mental Health week, let’s all agree that we need to be kind to ourselves. We cannot pour from an empty cup as they say. Let’s agree that parenting is hard, and just because someone else has it rough doesn’t mean you can’t be having a bad day too. And most of all let’s talk about what’s bothering us. You might just find that what’s troubling you might be troubling me too. Or even better, I might have found a path through what is troubling you and help you get past the problem quicker.

#Maternalmentalhealthweek